Im-Pietas, the severing of that cord
umbilical
not by the Mother-God
but by the wilful child
who wants no more
of creature-hood.
Sure, I acknowledge you,
but will not follow you,
will not bend down
my ear
nor bend a knee
to you,
my Maker-Life.
At first I walk away
from you
but keep some eye to you.
And then I sin, -refuse your sovereignty-
then hide from you.
But tired of this, I stand and
then declare
that You are NOT
and thus I need no longer be
ashamed-
for now I Am,
alone.
And step by step, I gradually withdraw
until you are not distant any more,
you don’t exist!
No longer can I sin,-
for what is sin,
if you do not exist?
Oh, yes, I may offend
this one or that
and fear what retribution, ill-effects,
may then come back on me.
It’s not the ‘other’ I am worried for,
but it is Me
lest I should suffer from
the things I’ve done.
There is no longer ‘Grace’
no longer ‘Gift’.
“I am the Lord!”
I have created me.
I seek always to do the will of-
Me.
Bow down before this Me,
just as I do.
I bend my ear, ‘obey’
what I command, desire,
or choose to do.
No other voice shall tell me how to live.
—
Perhaps insanity like this will then persist,
or maybe,
at some time or place
I will come face to face,
and recognise
the One Who has sustained me all the while
through these mad flutterings of my blinded heart.
(Reflecting on Cantalamessa, Chapter 2 of ‘Life in the Lordship of Christ’)
